How can I help my girlfriend become more independent?
I am 25 and my girlfriend is 22. We have been together for 4 years. I have moved from the UK to Spain to be with her. She is Spanish and I am English. I have been in Spain now for nearly 2 years. I have 2 businesses and work as an IT consultant remotely telecommuting. Although I don't make great money I have huge drive and focus on this in my life. I live with 3 other flat mates as otherwise I would be lonely in Spain and I enjoy saving the extra money. I have lived away from home since I was 18. My girlfriend has lived away from home once for 3 months in the UK which she regularly reminds me was the best time of her life ( I was left behind in Spain during this ). She has never lived with me, she lives with her parents. She calls her parents to ask the most basic of questions regularly. She does not have a full time job although has finished university. She is not actively looking for a full time job, she recently turned down a job interview for a job in her profession. Her parents treat us like kids not adults - I have to sleep in a separate bed when I come to stay in my girlfriends house and they talk to her like a child. Whenever I try to discuss serious points in our relationship e.g: traveling, finances, business, working abroad, moving in together, sex etc she gets: angry, bored, ignores me or she comes to kiss and cuddle me. She finds sex hurts - she lost her virginity to me but can't enjoy sex. She never masturbates alone or with me. Until recently she refused to go to the OBGYN, she refused to pay 150 euros for a private doctor and has to wait up to 6 months for results. She is constantly tired and moans about stomach problems almost every day. She is unfit and lethargic and refuses to do fitness. Whenever I talk to her about money she gets angry at people with money especially successful businessmen and refuses to even read about the basics of making money. Even basics in personal finance. She is unable to focus on what she wants from life and spends most of her days on her parents sofa watching TV, on Facebook and talking to her friends on instant messenger. I feel like I am putting so much into the relationship but her parents are holding her back. She seems quite content the way things are but I am not. What can I do?
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
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1 :
make her join the army