I dont know whether to stop seeing this guy i am with and i have 12 hours to decide.?
Bit about me first, I am a gay 16 year old who lives in northumberland, england. At the begining of december i added the friend of a friedn on facebook. His friend had told me that he was gay, just like me. We got talking loads and really headed off. We met up a few times and kissed and all that. We are gradually getting more and more smitten with each other. I am so happy i found him because i got seriously hurt and lied to by my first love back in september. I am falling for this guy alot. There is only one problem. He has only come out to a few of his friends and thats the way it has been for a long time. He basicly told me he hates been gay but knew that if he came out to everyone and to his parents it would all be fine but he is too afraid to. I rang him last night and said that i reeli liked him but i felt i'd hit a brick wall and didnt think that we couldnt take things further unless he was secure enough to come out. He said i was right but he was really upset so he is going to ring me tonight to discuss it properly. I need help, what do you think i should do/say?
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered - 9 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
i'm a bisexual 17 year old boy... i've barely come out, he shouldn't have to tell his parents family, friends whatever. just keep it going until its absolutely neccessary and crucial. i don't have the strength to tell my parents, i doubt i ever will. good luck. i wish i was in your situation with a boy im quite lonely atm (: actually.. if you can help me that'd be good. seankelleher_93@live.co.uk
2 :
he is still young . you need to give him time to come out when he is ready.
3 :
He shouldn't be pressured into coming out if it could potentially cause arguments and put him in a bad position. If that doesn't apply to him though, and he's just not confident enough then I think he should still do it in his own time. At the same time, if you feel he has to do it at the sake of your relationship, tell him that and let him decides what he wants to do. You should also take it into consideration that at the end of the day it isn't really anyone's business who you're both going out with. Telling his parents/peers could result in them interfering.
4 :
I'm 15 years old and bi. I doubt I could tell my parents I'm bi unless I fall in love with a girl and decide she's the only one for me. However I might end up with a guy so why put them through that plus they they don't accept me already and it doesn't matter anymore. I'm going to be me. I'm not ready to come out and he isn't either. Please don't pressure him it's not fair. Let him come out when he's ready.
5 :
Don't pressure him. Let him work this one out in his own time. Just stick by him and be supporting. He will trust u more this way.
6 :
Hi, It's not always so easy for people to come out and accept themselves as gay due to (insert a million things here). Everyone has a different experience when coming out and, while it may have been easy for you, it may not be easy for him. Each person has to come to terms with their sexuality in their own way. It can't be rushed and we can't (or shouldn't) do it for them. I wouldn't dump the relationship just because he's afraid to come out. You may be the very epitome of sexuality for him and this may be the very thing to help him adjust. So, don't give up on him, especially if you think he's the deal. Just do your best to help him by loving him. That may be all he needs. When he realizes how settled you are and how happy you are with yourself, he may be able to grow to the point where it's the same for him. Give him a bit of patience and if, after a while, he still is unable to bring himself out, then you can make that decision then. Show him love, don't give him speeches unless he asks and be patient. You'll gain your rewards soon enough. Happy New Year and I hope it all goes well for you, Bret
7 :
Okay! this is the kind of question I'm really good at! lol. so I'm also 16... and gay. it may be a tad different, because I'm from the u.s. but w.e so when he calls tonight, you need to come out and tell him straight up, as much as it may scare you, that you're falling for him, but you think he has to be brave enough to come out. and then, if you really do care for him like you say you do, you'll tell him that, and you'll remind him like 50 times that you'll be there for him through everything, the good and the bad. it's a big step to come out, as you may remember. but it's so much easier with somebody who cares about you leading the way. and you can tell him that his friends that he's come out to already will be there for him too. p.s. i'd love a pen pal from the u.k. i love the accents. haha. hit me up via e-mail :-D
8 :
Just tell him that you love him. If you love him like you say you do, then that shouldn't be a problem. I think if you date him you will be able to help him out through the process
9 :
I'm a lot older than you, and I'm bi, but I was in this situation myself several times during my late teens / early 20's. I don't think that this sounds the right time to come out. I never did, because in my case, the relationship that lasted was with a girl, so the question of coming out was resolved. I doubt if he thinks his parents will accept his sexuality, otherwise he'd have told them already. In this case, he shouldn't tell them until he's in a position to support himself, or has somewhere else to move to. It's not unknown for parents to throw their own children out of the house, or at least make it uncomfortable for them to stay, once they come out. In the meantime, you should support him, and be his friend, you know what he's going through at home, and you can be there for him. I hope I'm not too late with this, and I hope it works out for you both. Take care.
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