Please I need advice read below and give your opinion thanks!?
I left Nigeria 15 years ago and presently reside in London. Before leaving Lagos Nigeria I use to work in an office and I knew a lady colleague whom I use to tell all my problems and worries at that time as I use to chat too about my private life to her but I realized that she never use to tell me anything about herself which I believe is normal. I discussed this with my husband of recent and he told me that wherever you work you should never make friends in an office. I also realised to make friends with someone it takes several years to understand someone before they can become your friend as it is not because you meet someone of new and chat with them that they are your friends. I as an African noticed during my years in Nigeria people tend to chat with some people they do not know very well but later they drifat apart. As I am much older and wiser I study individuals and try not to chat too much with a person on the first day as I realised that it is not because you chat with them that they are nice people. Two weeks ago I received facebook email from my lady colleague of 15 years ago to whom I replied. I replied her via email and exchanged telephone numbers and email addresses but I was not very excited nor enthusiastic. At present I am not very enthusiastic about her nor am I keen on seeing her because it has been 15 years ago I saw her last. I would like to know is this normal. Oneday she telephone me as I politely told her not to phone me as it is expensive that we could communicate via email to which she agreed. As I know people in tropical countries like to chat too much on the phone. Last week I checked my voicemail and listened to her message as she wanted to know how I was doing. Several days later I returned her call and during our discussion I noticed she really did not have much to discuss with me as I was the one doing all the talking resulting to wasting my spare change. As I will be travelling to Lagos I will be forced to pay her a visit. I asked her if I could come to visit her in her office to which replied "yes". As I would be staying in a hotel I would like to know Should I invite her for lunch. I would not like to her ask her if I can come to her house unless she invites me as it her privacy. On meeting her should I talk less about myself? Should I watch her body language to know if she is feeling comfortable with me? She claims she is my friend but I know she is not a friend but a colleague. Tell me? Someone you have forgotten about after 15 years agos are they still your friend old acquaintances or platonic people.
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1 :
Hit it and quit it.
2 :
Maybe the people in the society/culture section will be able to answer your question better...
3 :
Many people in the spiritual community believe that we each are part of "soul groups" or "soul families" that we have spent many lives with, in varying roles. You are wise to be cautious about this situation... 15 years is a long time. I've known people who were separated at birth, adopted into different families and the re-met several years later as adults. The connection was there, even after the separation of years, but each had grown up in different environments so it was kind of like getting to know a brand new friend. You are much more intuitive than you give yourself credit for and it's important that you trust that. Meeting at her office is actually a great idea. You didn't mention if your trip was business or pleasure but if your initial meeting with her feels "off", trust that. I'm not saying to lie but perhaps you can ensure that your itinerary while there is full, with little time left over to do much but sleep. I sense that she really needs you and I think she is sincere is rekindling your friendship. I know, 15 years without a word is a long time. Hopefully, you parted on reasonably good terms. You had to have made a big impact if she is contacting you after such a long time and it is understandable that you would feel apprehensive. I have a feeling that she needs your strength and support. I'm not saying to disregard how you feel but perhaps consider that the Creator has arranged this for a purpose and could well be an opportunity to assist another soul on their journey. If you're having difficulty with resistance to seeing her, because she hasn't contacted you sooner, I will make a suggestion that has helped me. In your evening prayers, include a request to God for a special blessing on her. It sounds simple and stupid at the same time to some people but I have seen the results of doing this in my own life. I have seen people begin treating me very differently once I began to ask for a special blessing on them. It works for me and I wanted to suggest that you consider it as well. It essentially sets very positive energy in place and asks for a little help from God as well. Another consideration is that this may be an opportunity to establish a new type of friendship. Each of you have had many years apart, where you have gone through your own trials and lessons and you are not the same people as you were 15 years ago. If this is something that you want, pursue it. If your initial meeting feels "off" to you, go with that and don't pursue it. You are not obligated to carry the conversation so you may want to write some questions down about her beforehand to ask her. Sorry, I'm not much help here but I hope it provided some assistance, in some way.
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